Together 20 years and had all the sex I could stand for the first ten years, my kids arrived 10 years ago and naturally the sex diminished a little due to us both working and the added responsability of the twins. 4 years ago the sex stopped almost overnight, I had to beg for it and she did all she could do to disuade me. She suddenly had issues with me seeing her naked and would literally run screaming if I saw her. She started to say some very disturbing things during the few times we did have sex, things designed to disgust me and it worked, I walked away in the middle of the act many times. Although I didn't know it there is pretty good proof that there was an OM during part of that time so I guess I'll say when OM #2 entered the picture is when she stopped entirely. I became "disgusting" to her, no kisses, hugs, hand holding, touching or anything even remotly considered intimate.
What my theory is.
The male MLCer is by far the least dangerous of the two, I have a few reasons for thinking this way.
1. Men can have sex with many partners without needing to be "in love" or needing an emotional connection.
2. Men are likely to have performance issues at this stage in life, throw in alcohol and you can have a pretty impotent mix.
3. Men are very likely to "patch things up" it's the way guys are, this patching applies to the M as well as friendships.
I believe the most dangerous MLCer is a female.
1. Although women are capable of a ONS just like a man is they do need a emotional connection to carry on a long term sexual relationship with a partner.
2. Women have been well known to become less inhibited when the alcohol flows.
3. Women are much more likely to hold grudges and when they do finally patch things up it may be many many years down the road.
I believe men are much more likely to be cake eaters because of this and we see it in the threads posted here on a regular basis.
Should the LBS continue sexual relations with a MLCer? It's a tough call but I will say NO! Cake eating is just selfishness on the MLCers part and extremely disrespectful to the LBS. I can see no reason that continuing sexual relations will shorten MLC, on the contrary I can see it prolonging MLC significantly as it gives the MLCer no reason to do the work they need to do on themselves.
I say if there's an OM/OW in the picture then sex should stop until OM/OW is gone.
If a MLCer is going to return they will return sex has nothing to do with it.
