That's just it, though - H really ISN'T flirtatious generally. He IS friendly and outgoing, and some women might mistake that initially for flirtation. But when other women flirt with him....well, I guess it depends on the state of his depression. When he's in a good place, he displays my photo and very quickly manages to bring the words "my wife" into the conversation. When he's in a dark place, I guess it's just so tempting to enjoy a little bit of being admired by another woman, too easy to rationalize it as just a "friendly" interaction.
OW was just an acquaintance at work who roped him in by saying she was learning to surf and needed help picking out a wetsuit. H thought he'd be the "good guy" and help her get a deal at the local shop where he knows the owner....then her brother "conveniently" broke their dinner plans for that night, and she was all on her own, and H "nicely" offered to take her out to dinner with him and the kids - to HER favorite place, KFC - YUCK. Well, we all know where that story went from there.
This is why it's so important for H to know his boundaries - precisely because he IS so naive. Even he will admit he didn't see the ways in which OW manipulated him and the sitch until long afterwards.
I'm happy he seems better now, and willing to give him a cautious pass on this one. But it really did make me aware that I am dangerously near the end of my rope.
E
E, I'm sorry but I feel the need to say this. Your tone has completely changed from your first post to this one. It seems that you're making excuses for him and blaming the A on the OW. Not so. "He" made the choice to disrespect, lie and cheat on you. And a grown educated man is not "naive" when it comes to women...... As wonderful of a man as he may be when he isn't depressed, it is still "him" who is responsible for his actions when he is depressed. It seems that he was pursuing her and I think this woman backed off when he hit on her and that's why she's now gone.
I know where you're coming from as my X sounds like a carbon copy of your H, in that, he always wants to help, wants to look like the good guy, etc. My X had numerous affairs. I finally got sick of it and made him leave. I took a year or so to get my ducks in a row before he left as I also had a D who was a Sr in HS and didn't want to rock her world. I know you don't need to be told this.....but, keep watching, get your finances in order, etc.
