My heart hurts for ya. When you said "The man is not happy. He is really an unhappy person. The thing is I know the real him and that isn't who he is."
This is my Wife. I am starting to see changes in her though. During the A she used to get so annoyed with me. I could not do anything right. I know this is going to be hard to believe but I joke around allot. I really enjoy hearing people laugh and see them having a good time. During the Affair when I did something my wife would tell my son that I am being stupid. Last night she told him I was being silly. A little difference but it is a difference.
The other thing you said really bothers me though:
“I have a hard time convincing myself that I haven't failed."
Come on Girl HOW DID YOU FAIL? You stood by him through all this $hit that MOST other people would not have. You gave him a second chance. If you keep thinking this then yes you failed but you failed YOU. We can't have that. You are not a failure. In fact you are stronger that 75 % of all wives. You are not a door mat. You respect yourself. You are there for your kids. You are there for his family.
Where did ya fail?
Stay strong lady. I am sorry but I have been on this board for so long that everyone’s sitchs has run together and I can't remember your exact sitch but the themes are all the same. NOBODY that comes here and tries fails.
We are all winners of our dignity, morals and families. Nothing else matters.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
