I am so glad things are going better for you. Hang in there and hve that extra patience. He did break a promise but i believe that its more of a closure for him. Don't try and control it because you can't. Give it the space and time if you can. trully believe he loves you. It is hard to trust again but take some deep breaths everytime one of those anxiety thoughts come to your mind.
I am so glad to here things have gone so well for you. Keep your head up and keep up the good common sense. You are the winner not her.
Thanks for the further advice and insights, Lin. It really helps, as it's hard to keep a clear mind right now. After going through something as painful as an A and then somehow finding our way through it and being happy again, it just feels like a knife is being stabbed back into my heart again. I don't know how to feel or where to turn.
We did have lunch together today to talk about some business items. We also talked about the potential home that we looked at this morning. We talked some details about it, and then I seized the opportunity to explain to him that this was a really, really big decision. This is potentially the dream home that I have always wanted. I told him that if he wasn't sure about us yet and/or our future together that I was okay with that, that it would be best to wait and hold off and not put an offer in on this house. I explained that this would be a huge emotional attachment for me (this home) and that the last thing I would want is the pain that would come about from buying this home and then not staying together. I remained calm and worked towards being nonconfrontational in hopes that if he had any doubts he would feel comfortable sharing them with me.
Rather, he said that that thought of us not being together had not even entered his mind. He said that he does know that he wants to be with me. I assured him that I was REALLY okay if he thought it was best that we hold off on this decision, and he didn't answer me and started dialing his phone. I asked him what he was doing, and he said that he was calling the real estate agent about the home. I told him that he hadn't answered my question, and he said that he had answered it and that he was going to call the agent. He didn't reach the agent but left him a message. I remembered my lessons about hounding him and let it go. He gave me a kiss and told me he loved me and left to go back to work.
H called me this evening and said that we have an appointment at 9am tomorrow morning with the agent to potentially make an offer on the home... I am thrilled yet scared. I guess it hurts to know that this is such a beautiful location for the home I've been dreaming about, and it's overshadowed by my fears and hurt. I know this is to be expected, that I just need to understand that this is going to take more time than I ever expected to continue to heal.
Tonight H went out with a friend of his, and of course I'm on pins and needles. I worked late to keep my mind occupied. He was really sweet and kissed me goodbye when he left. I told him to have a good time and to please call me if he wasn't going to be home by 2am. He said he would.
It's times like these that are especially hard because he could just go out with his friend for a while and then meet up with her. I try not to think those negative thoughts, but in light of these latest events, it's harder than normal.
As of about 2:30pm today, there were no texts today between them or phone calls. So the last text was from H to her last evening saying that he would pay up on the bet and take her to dinner and to just let him know when. She hasn't responded back. Let's hope it stays that way. Maybe she has a new man... We can only hope.
I'm going to try to get some rest now. Thanks for all of your help, Lin.
Just let things be now...he said he has no thoughts of leaving you, loves you, and wants to buy you the house to prove it...
I think you will be okay...he needs to revisit for closure...maybe the bet was she wouldn't move away or some other silly thing...but either way you can't control him...if they have dinner and he comes home and she goes away...well then you have made it to the peak of the hill again...and maybe this is the last down hill part of the rollercoaster ride until the end...
Hold tight...you made your little inquiry...you did good not hounding him on it...I have a feeling he answers you more then you realize and you don't understand...maybe that is something you could focus on better...understanding his methods of communication?
