He's on Match.com

[Dom R]

aarrrg.. what a schmuck.. i cant believe he leads into questions like that, and then says "i dont know".

unless it's a roundabout way of him telling you, that he still basically doesnt know what he is doing.

I have to admit I feel a little passive/agressive on the exercise thing--I think I would find it "easier" to exercise for the general dating populace than my H, who is out there attempting to philander.

Huh.
I find it surprising/intesting, that you are willing to do all that other "girly" stuff for him, but not excercise.
Maybe it's that you enjoy the girly stuff, but dont think that sweat is feminine?

If you knew for sure that it was a major reason that he was "out there"... would you change your attitude on it (at least while you are under 50?

If your answer on that is yes... another approach, would be to put it out there on the line for him.

you're not going to have time to Impress him with your commitment to excercise, by your 3month deadline, i'm thinking.
So, when "the big talk" rolls around, you might just put it out there straight up, as "for him". Something akin to the following:

Ok, here we are. the big 3 month time. Time for you to figure out what you want, and whether you're going to recommit to being exclusively us, to being "married", and living together again.

There's something I've been meaning to ask you.
In your match.com profile, you noted fairly strongly that you were looking for someone with a 'toned' body.
Of all the things you complained about to me, my body wasnt one of them. I'm wondering if you just felt like it would be too rude or something, to make complaints about my body. Or whether it was that you remembered that I had gone to the gym for a few months, but then quit?

I want you to be completely honest with me, and tell me if one of the things you are specifically looking for 'out there', because you dont see yourself getting it from me, is a 'toned body'.

If it is... and you just dont think you could ever get it from me: you're wrong. I just didnt think it was so important to you, that you'd go out dating for it.

So, tell me if that is really a 'big thing' with you now.
Forget about tiptoeing around feelings: I need to know the truth about this.