Well, Thursday is done. It went well by most accounts. H came over for dinner. Was all over me wanting to ML. I was very proud of myself and held back and playfully reminded him he promised me dinner. We went to our favorite Mexican place and they gave us complimentary tequila shots for dessert like they always do. Well...there went my resolve. We went home and ML. The kids came back from my moms and had to be put to bed. H wanted to stay the night but couldn't because he worked today and all his stuff (clothes) were at the apartment. He talked about us going to Europe next year together. After ml he said "you know I love you..." I said the same thing back to him. He said "so why do we let it get this bad?". This raised my shackles because I TRIED TO GET HIM TO WORK ON JUNK AND COMMUNICATE FOR A YEAR. I said nothing.

I also had put on one of my little red teddies for him at his request. And he says "why do you wait until now to do this?" WTH??? I was the one initiating sex 90% of the time. I am a size 4 and take great care of myself. He was an angry, despondent man who was rarely home for me to even attempt such a thing. I know I wasn't supposed to but I just said "You haven't seemed to be terribly interested in this sort of thing for over a year..." and left it at that.

He says he'll back home soon. I didn't respond to that, either.

I know that most of you would jump up and down for this. But would you really? Would you if your H was cold and emotionally abusive for a year and just decides to come home without ANY R talk or talk of getting some sort of help?

I'm just lost. I am avoiding him tonight if he calls. I just don't know what to feel or do. Suggesting that we get help is more of the same behavior for me. And I'm TIRED of being the fixer. I'm tired of reading all the flipping books and worrying about whether he'll make a half ass effort to save us.

I do want a whole family again. But no one tells you how to get your H to work on things once the db'ing seems to pay off. They just leave you hanging. All the books are the same...kiss their ass and act like life is honkey dorey and they'll come home. GREAT. And then what? More of the same....

And NO...me changing does NOT change him in the long run. BTDT.

What do I do???

Last edited by Gingersnap; 10/27/07 01:14 AM.
Me (36) H (42)
M (12)
S-8 D-5 SS-18
D Day (PA) 12/02
S 10/03 R 1/03
S again 9/07
I choose Joy.