He's on Match.com

[Dom R]

sorry about your sitch.
its tough to deal with that sort of thing.

Dont get too down, about the current bump in the road.

First, some slightly "down" thoughts, then some "up" ones...

agent... i think it's important for you to remember that your pressuring him (prematurely), is pushing him away.

Seems like there's all kinds of pressure that can happen. there's "direct" pressure.. there's "indirect" pressure.... and then there's the really subtle stuff.
Plus, there's.. um... not sure what to call it. But when you basically tell him to his face, "you always come back"...

oh. in MB terms, I think that is technically a "disrespectful judgement". you're passing a judgement on him, that you "know" what he is going to do, and he doesnt have enough self control or independance to do otherwise.

If you assume that just to yourself, that can lead to problems. But dont you think that telling him that to his face, makes for even more problems?


Also... having you confront him, about weasel-wording around him tryhing to back out of things... about him "saying stuff he didnt mean..." might also make him feel pressured and "trapped".


Side thought:

You might just ask him straight out, "ok, I'd like to know: why DO you make this hard?"

It kinda seemed like he was prodding you into asking him that question, and you didnt. Might have been good to go with that, instead of what you chose to ask him.


Okay, the more positive thought now


As far as tomorrow night:

you might try reverting to the "bold, etc" approach, of

"I'd like to spend time with you tomorrow. But if you're not interested, I'm going to make other plans."

Just make sure that you do have something you can go to instead... otherwise you'll feel bad if he decides not to go with you. Make tomorrow a win-win situation for you, yes?

hang in there. dont forget to smell the roses, and all that.