You don't think we should hijack 99's thread anymore??
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She [and possibly you, while married?] had a major chip on her shoulder, about "never being good enough for me".
Interesting. I think you have a point here. (About me.)
I didn't used to. As a matter of fact, I used to feel like I was the most important and beautiful person in the world to him. I can trace when this started directly back to after his affair.
I wonder if I've somehow (subconsciously) set him up for failure here...?
On the other hand, I was feeling really good, very secure, in the M again just before he left this last time. (Just thinking out loud.)
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Then when I said, "umm.. i'm really hungry... i need more than half a cup of soup", i get hit with NOTHING I EVER DO IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUUU!!!
Yes, I do see where I've done this in the past. Usually, it coincides with low self-esteem on my part. I've been working very hard at this exact thing the last few months. I can see where xh has gotten closer to me as I've gotten less b!tchy about stupid stuff.
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It's like she deliberately gave me less than I asked for, to provoke me into complaining, so that she could then justify having a fit at me. Yet she was the one who was deliberately choosing to not meet my needs, and knowingly under-provide for me?
Did you ever get that way?
There are a couple of incidents I can recall immediately post-affair. I've been making a conscious effort to not do this precise thing. I do admit to a tendency toward being passive/aggressive, and it's something I work very hard at to catch myself doing.
