One day at a time, #3

[LuvMyHusband]

I almost forgot, as upset as I was last night and this morning. some things my H said to me actually gave me some hope and made me wonder. Please let me know what you think. Maybe I'm reaching.

He said "you want me to come back but you'd have to make changes and you will never do that".

He was saying how bad things had been for years and wanted me to agree. My response was "I think that there has also been a lot of love, fun, laughter, making love and wonderful times, that's what I think". He said "there have been awesome times but it's all buried beneath hurt and betrayals".

He's also trying pretty hard to "convince" me that he has not had a sexual R with the OW. Nor has he filed for D or even mentioned it. He just says that there has been so much that he feels buried. That if I keep trying to control him (which I'm not) and keep beating him up that he will keep running. Personally I think he's running from pain and anger but also from guilt. What amazed was that this is the second time that he has brought up that his porn problem had nothing to do with me.

Any thoughts?