You have to have some control. You are a mother with children. You are not controlling him. If you caved, he would be controlling you.
H: You are controlling by not giving me money translation: You are not letting me control you.
I think it would be a good gesture to pay his car payment and insurance this month. If things are not better a couple weeks before they are due again, you should give a heads up that he will have to pay them.
You, my dear, are engaged in a power struggle. Be careful not to be vindictive, which is easy when one is angry. Also be careful not to be taken advantage of. Be calm, reasonable, and clear headed before you make any decisions. If you are hurt or angry, put yourself on a tight leash. No knee jerk reactions, only necessary, well thought out actions.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
ok, thanks Yoyo. He has me going on the merry go round, which I am getting off, to the point I'm not sure that I'm not be controlling. There is no reason he can't work. He can still work a full time job and continue doing his investments. They don't take up that much of his time. Having too much time on his hands is part of the problem. I am going to be setting up a budget and making sure that things are done. If he doesn't do something by December 1st then I will let him know that he has to pay the bills in his name.
In the meantime, I will be working on me, taking care of my kids, building my business and detaching from him.
Don't you think it's interesting that he was trying to find out who I received flowers from thru D8? lol. She tried to imitate his voice to me on how sweetly he said "oh, that's nice". Makes me laugh.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
If he does come for Halloween, I'll have to make sure there are flowers again. lol. It will drive him nuts to walk in and see them on the kitchen counter.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
wow, what have I been missing? Here I am putting together a budget and I miss out on all the fun. I totally agree. I need to be kind when I talk to him, mysterious and allow the kids to "leak" things to him. (they don't even know they are)lol. I think it's funny.
I am feeling much better after putting together an excel sheet for my budget. It will be tight but doable. Now that's done I can focus on me and my kids and stop thinking about him.
It's a girls night tonight. S13 is on an overnight campout. So it's just me, D8 and chick flicks. woohoo. She loves that.
Saffie, you ok?
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
