Thanks for your honesty and support! You are right, I freaked out by resentment. I also think that he was feeling guilty and expected that I could recover fast enough for him.
Anyway, he got sick and TUP when he got back from work, after that he confronted me (!), he said it was for the sake of both our health. I apologized mainly because I read your replies and gave them a good thought and we had the best conversation ever because I could see glimpses of the guy I fell in love with. I had the courage to ask a lot of questions and details about each episode to which he replied patiently. I feel so much relieve and felt the blood run again in my veins.
I think that one of the things that moved me, because it was one of my main judgments, was when he told me spontaneously that the call girl gave him details of her life. I could watch him beating himself for the fact that he exploited a woman with a life so full of hurt and pain and it got to him. Even if we do not succeed piercing I thank God that at least this lesson he learned.
Yes, rules are not the best word. Boundaries is much more compromising. I think the freaking out is diminishing and I didn't think much about what have happened today.
We will try to go on and pierce our M. I will have to work on the steps now and I have some snakes killing to do.
