Thank you! I'm sorry you've been separated from your wife also. I hear ya about them having their cake and eating it too. Set yourself up for success so you don't feel like a doormat. You gotta have some boundaries for yourself. I'd advise you not to threaten D. If you are to bring it up, you want to be truly okay with that before you do. Don't make threats. That will not get you anywhere. I've walked a fine line when I have said I'm done and such.
Thanks for complimenting me on my strenth. We can learn from each other's mistakes. I hope you and others learn from mine, rather than try to follow in my or other people's footsteps. Keep in mind, just because it looks like a good path to take doesn't mean you have to step in the same mud puddles or trip on the same rocks on that path. And don't forget there may be better paths for you too. I personally would not make it a goal to suggest divorce. It can happen, sure.... but I'm not sure it gets us closer to our goal if that goal is to open the door to reconciling with our S. We want to show them with our actions, not words.... just as we like to see action on their part, and don't believe what they say.
I'm glad you are focusing on your personal growth and feeling more comfortable on your own. That isn't just hangin in limbo. But I know how ya feel. Keep up the work. Don't forget to dream big, and work backwards from those dreams.
No, I don't plan on pushing the subject of filing. Not at this time. Divorcing isn't what I really want. That would be asking for what I don't want. No need for me to say anything at this point. In the recent past I thought I was pretty ready, and I wanted to let my H know that I had changed my mind on holding out on D before I took action on it... because we had made a verbal agreement in person back in the Spring to do that. He'd asked me to. I told him at that time that I could give him time, if he was working on himself. Well, he's not working on himself but he'd like me to believe he is. At this point, enough has been said and has happened that I think I'm free of that commitment. Having him served with D papers could serve as notice enough.
Thanks for posting. Take care.
Peace and love. f21
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
