He's on Match.com

[Dom R]

i appreciate that you are trying to build up/preserve agent99's confidence. but that wont save her marriage

if I'm not getting the message across in the best way, then I apologise to agent99.

I definately wont back off just because it is a matter of looks, though.

you seem to be saying, "she looks the way she looks, and if her husband doesnt like it, that's too bad".

That's inconsistent with the whole concepts of marriage recovery, unless you believe that a spouse should dress, and maintain their bodies, to please themselves, and possibly others, but it doesnt matter what their spouse likes.
[do you really believe that?]

Some counter-points:

If it was that agent99 liked to spend $1000 a week on clothes, and that really displeased her husband to the point that it was the #1 complaint he had about her:
you would probably say, "ok, yes you like to do that, but you should change your habits, if you want to save your marriage".

If it was that agent99 was quite comfortable with having sex 1 time a week or less, but her husband really wanted it 5 times a week, and it was his #1 complaint about her, you would probably say, "ok, well, it is understood that different individuals have different tastes for themselves, but if you want to save your marriage, you should probably change your behaviour, to at least accomodate him in some way more frequently"

In each of those cases, you would most likely say, "change yourself, for the good of your marriage".

I dont see that there should somehow be an exception to that general principle, on account of looks. We're not talking about "go have $100,000 in cosmetic surgery, and potentially do 'bad things' to yourself". We're talking about, "do something that is GOOD FOR YOU in the first place".
["so change yourself, for the good of your marriage also"]

The only really fuzzy bit here, is that her H doesnt have the balls to say it directly to her face, as the #1 thing he is looking for. But he certainly has no trouble saying it to the general public, now does he?