impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

Yup, i know what you mean. Yet of course, they are the ones who accuse us of abusing and mistreating THEM.

"If mom is happy, we're all happy, because the whole family feeds off of Mom's emotions"

Yup. There's a saying, that actually gets "joked" about in her family, about "if momma aint happy, aint nobody happy".
(about HER mother, and grandmother, ironically)
To me, that is a sign of a selfish mother.
Parents should be examples of how to triumph over personal difficulties, and still continue to be nice to people they care about, reguardless of whether they had a "bad day" or not.
Not examples of self centeredness.

"happily"(?) our children are 6. I try to console myself with the thought that if we can work things out over the next few years, they could still have a large chunk of positive, stable, happy childhood, when it is highly critical, and they will remember it more. (10-18)
That's one of my Big Goals, when I get discouraged: to keep trying to build that for them.