Listen and absorb theo, mark, and jar. I know the ladies are full of it (knowledge, that is), but I am sure the male perspective is so important to you right now.
Welcome, and yes, not the place to be welcomed to. But, its been tremendous support for me. I come online shaking with bad news and feel much better after I come here.
You are doing everything you can. The fact that you have already started to improve yourself is a great sign. There are no 'fireworks' or bad fights, it doesn't seem you are begging or pleading (a no-no, makes us look weak), so really, time is your friend and enemy at the same time.
Its hard, beyond hard, but you are doing very well.
