Shoot, you got a lucky H. MrsGGB always does the drive-by pick-up at the curb when I travel. Not only that, but she says she doesn't sleep when I'm away, so there's no nookey for a couple days after I get back :(. Ah well, I am so glad it went well for ya.
P.S. Post a picture of you wearing nothin but that coat, will ya?
We had another nice nite. I must be projecting positivity, because he said to me, " I should go to San Fran. more often." On another thread Confused talked about the tendency to do more of the same thing, when a better tactic, so to speak, is to make a change. The change here was getting some space from my H.
GGB and Hairdog, I hope you have a great time on your get-aways, and maybe it will result in something good at home, as a secondary benefit!
We had another nice nite. I must be projecting positivity, because he said to me, " I should go to San Fran. more often." On another thread Confused talked about the tendency to do more of the same thing, when a better tactic, so to speak, is to make a change. The change here was getting some space from my H.
Good for you
On a serious note: Where are the pictures of you in the rain coat that GGB asked about
Updating my thread...H and I are working on having more appetizers rather than going for the main course, and this is upping my appetite ( I seem to do much better with food analogies than animal ones). We both agree that we will never starve one another again. I know I still have lots of trauma to overcome, and I am not in that sexually confident place yet, but I am working on it.
You mean you don't understand the monkey milking the cow which in all actuality is a bunny in disguise which is kind of awkward which is why the ferret is in the corner just shaking his head in disbelief ?
I don't know what I just said I'll stick to food as well, which reminds me, I need to add another recipe to my GAL workshop -- The real Hell's kitchen (Hell, Michigan that is)
I'm sooooo glad to hear you and your husband are doing better. It's a constant work in progress so keep it up
Updating my thread...H and I are working on having more appetizers rather than going for the main course, and this is upping my appetite ( I seem to do much better with food analogies than animal ones). We both agree that we will never starve one another again. I know I still have lots of trauma to overcome, and I am not in that sexually confident place yet, but I am working on it.
Journey,
Appetizers are nice and usually tends to make the main course all the better
As for the sexually confident place...what is your husband like ? I know with IC that he was always the agressor and it kind of closed or boxed me in. Now it seems that he has changed this by backing away somewhat and it has allowed me to regain some of that sexual confidence or balance if you will. I don't know how one can get the other to change the way IC did, or if you can. I'm glad he did but maybe he can shed some light on what it was that prompted him to do so ??
And by the way, is there anyone on here that IC HAS NOT made some comments too?
To RJ "..On a serious note: Where are the pictures of you in the rain coat that GGB asked about "
Hi Miss IC, thanx for making it through my thread. I know that when my H backed away from me, I was able to get in touch more with my sexuality. Unfortunately, he backed away into the arms of OW.
I would love to get to a place with my H that you and IC are now at...the fun, the play, the teasing...but right now, sex is serious business for us. Not all the time, mind you, but we have some major marital damage to overcome.
The last 2 nights I wanted to do the teasing thing, but my H was really insistent about following it through, so I went along. I don't want him feeling frozen out like he has in the past, but he doesn't quite get that if you build up to things, it can be even better. And personally, I like the feeling of having the tingles and not acting on it...that build desire in me.
The good news is that H and I are talking about all this, which is something we could never do in the past.
BTW, it is really good for all of us here to see two people get on the right track together. You were in tune with your H enough to find him here, and you share your H's sense of humor. You really are a good sport...now go beat him senseless, lol.
I would love to get to a place with my H that you and IC are now at...the fun, the play, the teasing...but right now, sex is serious business for us. Not all the time, mind you, but we have some major marital damage to overcome.
We're not exactly where I would like us to be yet. Yes we are having fun playing and teasing but we are not where I would like us to be communication wise. I wish I were able to get IC to open up to me more. He has things locked away in his mind that while I guess it's ok if he feels he needs to keep them there, I just wish he was comfortable enough with me to share.
It also saddens me to think that just a few short months ago, we were discussing a divorce and I was fully prepared to let him go. Where we are now and where we were then seems worlds apart but in reality we are just a few months removed from basically the early stages of divorce
The last 2 nights I wanted to do the teasing thing, but my H was really insistent about following it through, so I went along. I don't want him feeling frozen out like he has in the past, but he doesn't quite get that if you build up to things, it can be even better. And personally, I like the feeling of having the tingles and not acting on it...that build desire in me.
The good news is that H and I are talking about all this, which is something we could never do in the past.
Uuuuugh, this so sounds like IC ! Playing and teasing for him always had to lead to sex. So much so that it got to the point with me that I felt it was just sex. It was like IC just needed to unload (no pun intended ) and it did not matter if it was with me or with some $10 hooker (he never went this route, but that is how it felt). I followed through like this for a while but finally it got to the point of me shutting him out.
I'm glad you're at a point with you H that you can talk about this. That is sooooo important and I think it will make it easier for you two to get there. I feel for IC for making a go at this basically by himself with no help from me.
IC can be openly talk about this, again, I just wish he would open up about other things
BTW, it is really good for all of us here to see two people get on the right track together. You were in tune with your H enough to find him here, and you share your H's sense of humor. You really are a good sport...now go beat him senseless, lol.
I'm not sure if that is a compliment or not on sharing IC's sense of humor... he is a sick, sick boy Sorry hon, I meant to say "Man"
It's really good to talk with you. Judging by your posts, I really like you
OK, I'm getting ready to leave work so I can go home and beat my "boy's" azz
We're not exactly where I would like us to be yet. Yes we are having fun playing and teasing but we are not where I would like us to be communication wise. I wish I were able to get IC to open up to me more. He has things locked away in his mind that while I guess it's ok if he feels he needs to keep them there, I just wish he was comfortable enough with me to share.
It also saddens me to think that just a few short months ago, we were discussing a divorce and I was fully prepared to let him go. Where we are now and where we were then seems worlds apart but in reality we are just a few months removed from basically the early stages of divorce.
Hm. Honey. Were I you, I'd spend some time emailing back and forth with your hubby. We girls... are.... SOOOOO determined to get into the mind's of our men. "But how are you FEELING?"
They don't... think like we do, act like we do, talk like we do, FEEL like we do. They are men.
And we are women, and thus... things get a little... confusing. Especially when we've been together for awhile.
Quite honestly, I think the very BEST thing you could do, for your M, and understanding your H... is to hang out here for awhile, and read other men's threads, not just your H's. You will soon realize, he isn't so different than most men. In understanding other men, you will go a long way in understanding your own H.
By hanging out here with the HD/LD ladies, you will go a long way in understanding yourself. You are half of the R, and you are contributing to half of its success and half of its failure. If you have the courage to own that, you will go a very long way in understanding yourself and your M... and the confusing, utterly perplexing world of men.
Quite honestly, you have a communicator on your hands. He showed up here first. He's willing to talk... but in his own way. Accept him, and his methods, for what they are, like you do with a child. KWIS? Not that men are children, but you accept a child when they show you who they are, and work with what they show you. That's pretty much how men are. They don't really BS you. They may not know how to say what it is you need to hear, but in their minds, they are being PERFECTLY CLEAR. "How many times do I have to say it?!" Sound familiar?
I give you all the kudos in the world for stepping up to the plate, honey. Major kudos. You are one cool chick. Mr. IC is one lucky man.
