What do I do with her?

[Mike is Hurtin']

Saffie,

I'll do my best to explain the "dynamic" between us right now.

When W left, we agreed that we would remain kind to one another; it's important to both of us to remain friends. We also have two dogs (they are our "kids"); W has one of them and I have the other. We are both interested in being a part of both dogs' lives, so that precludes some degree of communication and involvement in each others' lives.

Since she moved out two weeks ago I have not called at all, except for one quick call about an important piece of mail she received at the house. My modus operandi has been to let her approach me, since she was the one who kept going on about "needing her space".

The calls we have had have been civil, courteous and even a shade friendly, although I can tell that we're both finding it extremely awkward to talk at this point. Our standing agreement is that we will not come to each others' place of residence without calling first; her last visit to the house was last weekend to pick up some things she had left behind.

The visit to the house lasted about an hour. We actually had some nice light moments when she was over - laughing about old stuff we had kept throughout the years, or trying to figure out how to divide the CD and DVD collection ... it's funny how thousands of dollars of furniture can get split up in a few minutes, but a $12 DVD can cause some real debate! But, we didn't let anything escalate beyond a raised eyebrow, and made sure that we kept things in perspective.

We had a "date night" last night - I took her to a service awards night at her work. This was really hard - we were both on our best behavior, but I could tell that she was distracted and fidgety. After I dropped her off and had a few minutes of cuddle time with my other dog we hugged really awkwardly; I didn't feel like she even wanted to be in the same room as me.

I have no idea what's the status of W and her OG, and I don't know if that's the source of the distraction, or if it's just feeling uncertain about "us".

I guess my question is how much space to give a spouse in this situation. In truth, I don't really have a lot of choice; she's made it clear that she needs her space and that I need to trust her. I think it's a bit lofty to put the ball in my court when she's admitted to cheating, but I'm also very new to this and learning as I go.

So, I'm right to just focus on my own life right now and not worry about what's happening with her?

-- Mike