Wait a minute, how can you get upset, you have no idea what exactly is being done. It could be nothing more than some fresh paint and a good old fashion cleaning.
So basically you don't have enough facts to make any kind of judgment or reaction. Until you have the facts make no reactions or judgments.
I will once again harp on the need for you to be saving money for yourself. I suspect your gut is right and money isn't nearly as tight as she's leading you to believe. She may think it's tight but has she really made any major budgetary sacrifices? Time for you to be putting a couple hundred away each month for yourself. If anything it'll give you money to make the necessary deposits on an apartment or house to rent along with the utilities.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
Roger. You're correct about the $. It is a full renovation, because S8 described in detail what was happening. Carpet guy...dry wall guy...You are right about the money in the bank.
FLTC, have you thought of how you'll respond to the basement renovation project or will you just pretend that you don't know about it since you got the info from your son? Will your wife be mad that he told you? Could you turn it into a positive? For example: How nice that you are fixing up the basement for S9. Sounds like a good place for him to hang out while D studies. Glad to hear that money is not so tight. Now I will start my savings for the R&R. (She can't object to you saving money for the kids....right?) Then you do it!!!! FLTC, it is YOUR money and you are being more than fair!!!!!!! After April you just continue to save for whatever you need to use it for in the future.
I think as separated folks most of us are also sharing power of attorney and community property. It is a horrible feeling to lose trust int he person that we need to trust with everything:our homes, our money, our livelihood and most importantly the kids. It is hard to knowwe cannot control or at least agree. Have you filed for a legal separtion? I have not. I keep putting it off. I gave him a six month time limit and in that time I have not even seen a glimmer of hope, not a single ray. I do not even think there wouldbe a miracle to even erase all of this ugliness. At least there is still hope in your sitch. When you come home you will be able to show all your 180s!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Matlida, I did not mention it yet. it's a tough call. If you look back on my earlier posts, you will see that my W. is a bundle of raw nerves. Anything I did, and still do is like pouring salt on that bundle of nerves. She can turn that off with certain people, but most people who are close to her, know what she's like. This is probably another brick in the load, much like when I asked D17 if mom was dating.
mk. There is no legal separation done. we never did that. Tomorrow, I'll write about "forcing the person who ants it to file". I'm way too tired tonight to even think coherently!
I did not mention it yet. it's a tough call. If you look back on my earlier posts, you will see that my W. is a bundle of raw nerves. Anything I did, and still do is like pouring salt on that bundle of nerves.
You don't have to mention it at all! Wait for her to tell you. That would be a 180 for you! My earlier post was meant to show you a 180, too....."acting as if" you were happy that she was fixing up the basement. Wouldn't that surprise her??? (you can ignore the money part of my suggestion).
Can you communicate with the kids without involving your wife? I never understood how one could "go dark" when children are involved. It never has worked for me!
FLTC Read a book called Ivan's war. The Red army 1939 -1945. Discussed the enlisted and junior Red Army officer in their Great War. Many similar threads between their feelings and yours.
Matilda2 is a lady with brains. Probably looks too but I have yet to disagree with her.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
