I know your not looking for advice....then how about a shoulder? Your pain and sadness are understandable. You've been going through this for a long time now and it doesn't seem to be easing up on you at all. You know that when the Holidays roll around it gets tougher....so you have to get tougher to.
I bet the sadness and despair have gripped their tight little hands around your heart and it feels like it is choking the life out of you. You can't let this happen to you or your not going to make it very far.
Sorry...I do understand you feelings, trust me. I am not going to give you advice, just am going to paste something here I read a long time ago....so don't consider it advice, consider it a choice.
Sink or Swim?
That is the question my father posed to me when I thought I would never love anyone again, not the way I loved...him, and this is the very question that haunted me when I was feeling like life would never be enjoyable again and especially when I reached for the cigarette that promised to make me forget.
You see, to quote Outkast's Ms.Jackson "You can plan a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather"
So when the powers that be decide that your pretty picnic is going to be tarnished by a hurricane, you have to realise that no matter how much you love(d) him/her there will be a new chapter in your life.
You will either:
A) Swim - this involves being strong enough to accept what you cannot change but embrace the tough times, knowing at the end of them you will feel like a different person who can walk through life and take the occasional setback (doing so with wisdom and poise)
B) Sink - to do this you must lie in bed, ignore all calls from your friends whose advice and support really is what you need right now and eventually let the sadness that you feel eat away at you until you are a shadow of your former self
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Oh, wantlove....I know exactly how you feel today....I am very sad as well. Im sitting here just in tears....I want to call my H so bad just to tell him Im sad, but what good is that going to do? I hate this also, but Jeanette is right, we either have to sink or swim. Make a choice....Im kinda in the mood to sink today, but thats ok, tomorrow I might want to swim!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Most Precious Lord Jesus, Gentle And Wonderful God, Truly Awesome And Ever-present Holy Spirit, Precious Lord Jesus, I love you. The spiritual war between your Light and Satan's darkness rages within me. In your grace and in your love, keep me strong and keep me faithful. Remind me every hour how much you love me. Remind me every hour how much you care about me. Show me the sadness of the times when I hear you but I do not respond to you. Show me the beauty of resting in your arms as I put aside my will and do only your will. Bless those I pray for each day. Bless the world and all the victims of the darkness. Place your love upon those who know not what they do. You are my Lord. You are my Savior. I would be truly nothing without you. I love you. All these things I humbly pray in the name of my most Blessed Lord Jesus Christ, my Mighty God, and my Ever-present Holy Spirit upon whom I can rely. Amen
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
"Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his Home." Proverbs 27:28
Bob and Charlyne have been away from home for awhile now. I have no doubt their thoughts are the same as mine when I have to be gone for an extended period. I just want to sleep in my own bed and fix breakfast in my own kitchen and sit on my own patio drinking coffee out of my own cup. I'm sure they long for their own nest where they can feel safe and comfortable.
Proverbs 27 talks about a bird that has strayed from its nest. Our prodigals are like that bird. They have left their covenant family to fly away into uncharted territory. They have worked very hard at building another nest in the wasteland where they have ventured. They have tried to fill that nest with the things of this world that they think will make them happy - a new job, a new place to live, a new town or maybe even a new family. To us, it may look like they have succeeded. But this nest is not home and the materials used to build it will not last. The first strong wind and that nest will come crashing to the ground. Unlike us, they don't have the comfort of knowing that the Father's strong arms will be there to catch us when we fall.
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:27a
"I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:2-4
Yes, those we love have wandered into the wasteland. They have turned their backs on their covenant and turned their backs on God. They have been taken captive by the enemy to do his will. But we have been called to a very important task – to stand in the gap for them; to pray for their salvation; to believe that God can and will turn their heart of stone to a heart of flesh. This is His promise to us and we need to hold onto that promise even when it looks like it will never come true; even when the one we love has built a nest in the wilderness; even when everything in the flesh tells us it isn't going to happen for us. Sometimes, you just have to see with the eyes of your heart.
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7b
What is your heart's cry today? Is it a prayer for relief from your pain? Is it a prayer for that heart transplant that Charlyne always talks about? Are you praying and crying out to God asking why He has allowed this circumstance in your life? Are you thinking that the one you pray for is safe and secure in their new nest? Are you asking what to do; what to pray for? Cry out to God and ask Him to renew and refresh your heart today. Ask Him to show you His will and His way for your marriage. Know that He wants to be your Wonderful Counselor and your Great Physician. Maybe you don't know what to pray for anymore. Maybe you feel like your prayers are just hitting the ceiling. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the way. Ask Him for guidance and wisdom and then wait quietly for His answer.
"For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6
Our prodigals are birds that have strayed from their nest. It is our job – our calling – to pray them home.
"Lord, we pray for opened eyes and opened hearts. We pray that You will bless and protect our loved ones who are away from home right now. We pray that You will shine Your light into their lives and dispel the darkness in which they live. We pray that You will be there for them as You have been there for us when that strong wind comes into their lives. We pray that You will be there to catch them as they fall. Amen."
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me. He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me; God sends his love and his faithfulness." Psalm 57:1-3
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I was busy with a long list of suggestions when I read your post again. You reminded me that men try to fix when they should just hush and listen. Thank you.
So just know that many of us are quietly sending you our best wishes, as we too have been in our own perfect storms and fought the waves we can not avoid. Know that they do pass to allow you rest, and that the breaks in between do get longer.
May God soon bless you with calm waters and beautiful sunrises.
Sorry, kiddo. I know how those days feel. We all do, so know that we're all here, holding your hand, and hoping the day will seem brighter sooner than you think.
It's OK to feel this way. It really is.
Just know one thing: I promise you, that you won't feel this way forever. No matter how much it seems that way now, you won't. It was so hard for me to believe that in the beginning...how I could ever not feel that black hole of pain sucking my very being inside itself.
