Dom, which do you think is the more difficult course:

1) Staying in a situation that is familiar, though problematic, when it's clear your partner is not holding up their end of things

or

2) Leaving the situation even though you suspect you will feel guilty about it and feel bad for your ex...


I say the LESS difficult one is #1. My evidence for this is the fact that people stay in these situations (like Mojo did) for years even though they are unhappy. Therefore, my conclusion is that it is more brave to do the more difficult thing, which is leave.

If you've ever lived with an alcoholic (which I presume you have not, just as you've never lived with a chronically ill person-- why is it you feel qualified to second-guess these situations with which you have had no personal experience? ...but I digress), you'll know that as the sober partner, you do not want to leave your alcoholic partner. You wish there were some way of making them stop drinking without taking drastic action-- any way-- but the only way is for you to remove yourself-- NOT NECESSARILY PHYSICALLY (did you get this part: not necessarily physically)-- but you cannot help the person until they decide that there is a problem. You have to save yourself. Your statement

Quote:
I dont see how turning your back on someone and forgetting about them, could ever be called "brave"


clearly reveals that you don't understand. Sometimes when someone is going down a hole, the best thing you can do is turn your back on them. You don't "forget about them"-- that is impossible. But you must stop being a crutch and a buffer between them and their problem. THIS IS A VERY HARD THING TO DO AND IT TAKES GREAT COURAGE. Ask anyone who has done it. It's scary. You're afraid of what will happen to them if you're not there to pick up the pieces. (But, as with Mojo's 2bx, usually someone like him will find another rescuer/caretaker pretty quickly.) It is very difficult to walk away.

I hope you're learning something about situations that you have not personally experienced. Stick around-- you'll probably learn more.