I must have reached my limit on my other thread because I'm locked out. I slept on my problem from last night. I still don't know what to do. I'm going to meet with a friend of mine today and go over a financial plan so that I will be fine. I'm not trying to be mean or push him further away but I do have to be realistic. The bills that are in just his name come to about 500 a month. He decided to leave. He decided on this path. It's bad enough that I am left holding the bag. I don't think I should have to hold it for him too.
I told him yesterday when he said he would not be controlled. I will not be used. He can demand money from me but not give anything? I know that we are not supposed to talk about the OW but it just burns me that he can talk and listen to her more than me, she knows where he is and more about him than I do, so obviously he gives of himself more to her but then wants ME to give him money??? Incredible. Let her give him money.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
Can you tell that I am getting angry over the absurdity of our sitch?
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
Ok, I'm basically talking to myself here but input would be appreciated. I think I'm getting to the angry phase now.
My H leaves, blames it on me. Has another woman, says she's just a friend, he's not working, expects me to pay all the bills, his and then give him money, while he's hanging out at his parents, going to Vegas, attending a concert, lying to me and then can't understand WHY I won't trust him??? Then has the nerve to tell me that his R has nothing to do with my not trusting him with our finances and that I OWE him some of the money???
He doesn't seem to get that while he is in his "all about me" phase, things stink financially, S13 barely speaks to him, D8 wonders if he loves her and last night she asked if we would lose our house b/c he's not here. I reassured her of course but I am very close to telling him off and putting together an email with all this. I'm sorry everyone. I am just so angry with him today.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
That is precisely why you should not contact him. You would be behaving just as he would expect and give him more ammunition.
Luv, you have got to control yourself or you might as well give up on your M now. Your kids are obviously getting caught up in all this and that is wrong. Even if you hated your H he is their father. Please calm down. Go for a run. Physically wear your self out. Anger will not make this any better. Reread what your C told you to do. You take advice, say you are going to heed it, and then do the exact opposite. Please stop before you do something you regret really badly and that cannot be undone. You have to break this cycle with your H. If you send an email like you are talking about you are just cranking everything up again another notch. STOP.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Luv, I am at work so my post may end quick but... Why are you letting what he feel bother you?. How does he figure half your money is his. Is the "'business" half his? Not sure where he is comming from. If it is "just becase" then don't sweat it. LET IT GO. I may leave early today. my Wife will be in class, Son is in school and I will have the house all to my self. If so I can get online and we can talk. But I think you are letting his feeling get to you too much. Now this is MY feeling I can not tell you how you feel. I am sending you the next chapters on the jurney by E- mail
take care Husband
Last edited by husband; 10/26/0701:21 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Saffie and H, I'm not going to email him I said I just feel like it. It helps me to vent on here and not to him. I am afraid of what's going to happen. I'm afraid that I won't be able to afford everything and he's not helping. I know that the realisticlly he needs to pay his bills but when I tell him that he is going to get angry all over again and I don't want to deal with it. I feel frustrated that I should have to. No, don't worry, I'm not going to email him.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
Luv, pay your bills. Do not worry about "his" truck paynment or any cards that are just in his name. No need to tell him this just don't pay them. I think he will figure it out.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
H, I was going to forward those bills to him when they come. The truck payment is in both of our names so I want to make sure he knows he has to pay it. I know that I can't fight with him and I really am trying not to. I'm leaving my cell phone off today. No, I'm not going to email him I just needed to vent. As far as the kids, S13 has never been much of a talker with H even when he was here, now he barely does. H hasn't done alot to foster their R. D8 is logically putting it together, if dad isn't here, who pays for the house? Our conversations haven't been over the phone talking, they have been by text. When they are around, I don't even cry and I try really hard to show them everything is ok but they know something is going on.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
