I Belong Over Here

[Dr LOve]

Hey Red,

I had a vision last night when working with my son on his home work. I know we have all heard this before and it is hard work but everything is hard work until it becomes second nature. I was showing him something for his home work on the computer and he shouted out the infamous "OK I KNOW". now in the past when he came out with this and his voice raises up a few levels I inurn would raise mine a few higher and come back with something like "If you know why ask Me to help" kind of shouting back at him. But for some reason last night when this happened I did not raise my voice. Instead I told him “Anthony when you answer me back I feel like not helping you. I inurn want to shout back at you. We get nowhere.
Wow the light came on in my head. Why can't I express this "I feel XXXX" to my Wife.
My point is Red that I think you should write these "fears" down. Don't e-mail them but keep a running list. After your H has returned and the Dust has settled them you need to get these fears out in the open and let him know.
That way him knows what you may be thinking when he talks about this OW (not THE OW) but he may mean NOTHING by bringing her up but he is aware how you feel and not bring it up.
Like some friends had to put their dog "to sleep". (Long story) they had no kids so this dog was like their child. But the dog snapped at someone and to make a long story short they had to put "Max" down. I knew they had a hard time with this. It took awhile for me to bring it up but I had to let them know my sorrow for what they had to do. (Very uncomfortable). But I did and after tears were shed the subject was put to rest. Now I know never to bring up their dog again because I know how they feel. Well we need to let our spouses know how we feel so they know how uncomfortable we are when certain things come up.

Sorry I kind of got carried away but do you know what I am trying to say??

Poor sues. She did not bring up the fact that she wanted to go to the concert with her H. He did not bring up wanting to take her because he thought she would not want to go anywhere with "HIM". So NOBODY BROUGHT IT UP.

Sooooo to boil all of this down. Wait until your H is home. Don't bring it up now because then you are setting up the foundation of it not working out before it has a chance. After he is home and he makes sure your pilot light is lit then start a new chapter in your marriage.

Husband