I guess I am scared of telling him I want out because in the past if I have rejected him he appears so crushed. I guess I also feel hypocritical to say I agree with him that we should separate when I think back to three weeks ago and how upset I was when he did pull the pin.
Plus by saying I want out as well, I worry that he'll go "Whee! Cool! Now I can go out and play with whoever I want!" and that I'll be left on the rubbish pile of damaged goods because I'll be suspicious of all appealing men and disdainful towards those that come across as desparate and/or needy. I think I quite competitive with him and don't want him to move on unless I am in a position to do so as well.
