I skimmed through your story and saw many of the usual things. But what I really noticed is that you recognize some of your behaviors (clingy, tired of hanging on every word, that sort of thing.)and that is good.
But let's get to your opening post of the thread.
Quote:
Am I being petty or am I being reasonably in protecting myself from further pain?
No. You are not being petty. And it makes sense to protect yourself. I recognize that you are worried about the effect it could have on the relationship which is understandable. A positive is that he hasn't mentioned divorce. And if he is in depression, that is a tough thing tio deal with.
But what you really want to do is find a good place for yourself. Try different things. DB always say when something doesn't work, do something different. This is something I really like:
Quote:
I will work on myself to love myself
That is the key. The first person you need to learn to love is yourself. We all go through this period where we feel like we have been tossed out like an old pair of shoes. That is tough to get over. the mere fact you said that is great and that is what you search for.
I know only skimmed the surface, and no doubt you have many more questions, but the key is to find your center. Once you do that (and it won't happen over night, everything else falls into place no matter what happen in your situation. Of course, it doesn't have to happen right this minute.
Good luck and I will check back in on you.
IMP
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply IMP.
I know I can talk the talk but I have trouble walking the walk when I have to face h. I think I will get hold of DR after all.
I find it easier to centre myself when I don't have to deal with him. Unfortunately, due to daughter, I do need to make sure he can still see her. I can't wait to get into mediation and set up structured times for him to see her. Currently he picks her up from school on Tues and then I pick her up from his workplace that evening. He sometimes picks her up on thursdays as well and then I pick her up again from his work. I am trying to implement a 'every second Saturday' where d will stay with him now that he has his own apartment. I want him to spend more time with d, not less however, but becuase of the nature of his job, he just never has the big chunks of time to look after her. Frankly it doesn't cut it for me, but I can't change what he does.
