You are right, I just need to be patient, and believe things will be okay. I am doing better today, as I have had my vent, been able to "right" myself and ready to step forward.
I seem to allow things to get all boggled up in my head, where they over power my thoughts and outlook (focus). I just needed time to adapt (again) to this new situation, and learn to accept what is going on.
I've never heard such angry words, continuously coming from S. Yes, I am hurt, scared and worried, for he is beginning to sound like his father... and his father has been able to hold on to his anger (for me) for years now..... Venting has allowed my common sense room to trickle back in to help separate my fears from reality....
I know S's anger is really a sign of the pain he is in, and as we all know, it is human nature to take it out on the ones we are closest too, love the most, who we feel safest with, who we believe can take it, and will love us through it all.... Sitting back and loving S from a distance is the only way I can be at this time. To do anything else may appear to be rejecting or abandoning S, and this is the last thing he needs right now.
Yup, plucked my head out of my favorite orifice once again, and beginning to see straight. Still a bit early for me to apply a bit of hope, but once again, I'll bring it out too.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
