Dropping the line vs. differentiation

[Dom R]

IMHO it would have been MORE selfish for you to stay with him in order to avoid feelings of guilt than it was to take the brave leap of casting off the task of fixing him and leaving him alone with himself.

Lilly.. i find that to be really stretched reasoning.
Do you think perhaps it is influenced by your earlier decision to dump the guy who was in the ICU. (ie: to make _yourself_ feel better about your decision?)

"selfish", is, literally, "thinking about yourself".
Doing something to avoid guilt, does not make that act "selfish".
Usually just the opposite. Often, (but not always) it is guilt, that causes us to act UNselfishly.
If you see a beggar on the street, and you feel guilty that you have a comfortable amount of money and they dont... Does giving them some money, somehow become 'selfish'?
No. Keeping the money, is the more selfish act.

If you give the money out of guilt, it doesnt make you "generous".
But nor does it make you "selfish" either.



When faced with a choice between, "Do something difficult, for someone else, over the long term", or "ditch the person and put them out of your mind"...
It seems fairly straightforward, that "actively doing something for someone else", is literally the less "self-centered" course of action.

Conversely, ignoring them, and going to be by yourself someone, is a choice to re-centering on yourself. ie: "self-centered".
aka "selfish".

I dont see how turning your back on someone and forgetting about them, could ever be called "brave", either.
It may or may not be the right thing to do. But calling it "brave", doesnt fit.