I haven't wrote to you in a long time. Just been glacning over some of your posts. I see where you are getting pretty ticked at people telling you not to be angry. I know, I feel the same way when I'm mad.....I'm really mad and don't want people telling me not to feel that way.
I think what most everyone here means is that you can't be your very best with this kind of anger built up inside of you. It will turn to deep bitterness and that is worse than cancer. I have seen old people who never got over things that happened in their lives and it was awful what it had done to them. You don't want to be that way......nobody is worth doing that to you. Don't allow her that.....please.
Just for the record, the WAW only appears to you to be the good guy here. Believe me, she isn't. Remember, I came very close to being a WAW also and I was anything but the good guy. I did see my H very angry. I saw him at his very worst. I did not like that guy at all. In fact, if he had remained that angry, bitter man......no way would I have decided to stay with him. But, he changed and I stayed. Now, things are beginning to look a lot better these days and I thank God that I never left my H for the OM. It has been 3 months.....a very long 3 months, but we have made it.
My heart goes out to you Markyb, but please don't give up on everything......most of all yourself. You deserve a good life and just b/c one person screwed you over.....don't think everyone out there is like that. If you lose her for good....there will be somebody better that is waiting for you, but sweetie, she won't want you if you harbour this hatred in your heart. I think that is what everyone is concerned about. Yes, you most certainly have a right to be angry.....good and angry, but she has not gotten off so easily, you just have not seen the end results yet. She may want it to look like she has everyone in her corner and that life is just rosey for her.....but who knows what goes on in her heart at night when she can't sleep and the nightmares she may have. Like I said, the end results just are visable yet.
Be angry! But channel that anger in a healty way. Take up running or box the hell out of a punching bag......anything that will work it out of you. I know how hard it is to take people's advice on here at times. I didn't want to hear some of it myself (lol), but I think they are telling you from experience. When we are hurting so badly, it is hard to think clearly and see straight. We need others to help us out.
So, keep coming here.....and it's ok to punch us out verbally if it will help your feelings. We care about you. Hey, she isn't the only one with friends! Right? Right!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
