Heim is fairly correct -- W didn't start dating BF until 4 months after our separation and 2 months after I filed for D. Everybody has a different opinion about affairs, cheating, etc, and my opinion on this is that she didn't cheat on me. She was free to move on at that point (in my mind as well as hers).
That being said -- yes, I absolutely know I could trust her if we were to reconcile. Why or how do I know? Because affairs, cheating, etc -- though I don't consider that the case with my sitch -- are symptoms of poor/dysfunctional M's. If we were to reconcile, and she was able to make changes in herself the way I have done in myself, then I have no question the M would be healthier and better than ever, and that we would have the tools to stand the test of time. Call me an idealist, but I believe that a reality exists in such idealism.
BF is insecure because he is at an extreme disadvantage physically, monetarily, and apparently emotionally, to many a good man out there (though it is not likely to find them clubbing). He hasn't learned from his past 2 failed M's. I was insecure, too, but knowing what I know now, I will never again be that way in a future relationship. I will communicate well in my next R(s), and make sure that my SO's love bank is full as much as possible. I will make time for them, give them their freedom and space, make time for me, and show them that I love them unconditionally. My next R, whether with my W or not, will not fail.
