Priorities

[RedHeadWife]

Well, a couple of things stand out to me in your post, and I hope I'm not way off here.

The first thing was the coldness you showed toward him. Yes, he was wrong in what he did and, yes, you are *entitled* to be angry, but you need to figure out what you want -- either to work on your M or not. I don't think if you end up wanting to work out your M that making him feel guilty or treating him rudely, etc. is how you should be treating your H.

If you feel you still need time to deal w/ what has happened before you can deal w/ your H and what you want to happen between the two of you, I would take that time "away" from him. Staying there and *punishing* him for what he did is not going to help your M in the long run.

The second thing is, if you emailed him at work, I don't think you should expect him to drop what he is doing at work to work on your M. Work is work, home is home. That's just my opinion though. If he was at work, dealing w/ his issues w/ business partner comes before dealing w/ his marital issues/problems. Again, that's just my opinion.

I think you need to figure out what you want and if you don't know what you want then, yes, you should take some time away to figure it out, but there again, if you take the time away to figure out what you want that should be what you are doing not going away to make him feel guilty or somehow punish him for what he's done.

What kind of *rules* are we talking about? Even after my D sitch & my H's A's, I don't think I like the word "rules" regarding a marriage.