impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

yeah, i heard about that on the radio once.
It doesnt help, for someone who fundamentally refuses to forgive.
The five are:

"express regret, accept responsability, make restitution, repentance (not wanting to do it again), and asking for forgiveness".

I automatically express regret, take responsability, say I wont do it again(if I fully understand the area of my mistake), and sometimes ask for forgiveness.
as mentioned elsewhere: she never responds to a request for forgiveness. neither does she allow for any "making restitution".
She will accept me doing stuff for her. But she will never say, "ok, thank you. that makes me feel better. i forgive you".

Seems like she basically wont forgive anything. ever.

(possibly because it makes her feel more powerful over me; she can use it as emotional blackmail against me, if she refuses to forgive it. If she forgives, then she loses the ability to drag it out again, months, or years, in the future.)

I cannot think of a single instance, in knowing her for 14+ years, where she has said "I forgive you".
Me asking for it, has sometimes cooled her off a bit. but I dont remmeber her ever saying, "ok. i forgive you".

Seems like it's almost impossible to have a relationship with someone like that, that wont eventually go downhill, under the accumilated weight of past "transgressions".
Unless you are someone who is perfect, and never makes mistakes?

meanwhile, i have lost count of the times I have forgiven her for things.
And if I ever ask HER for restitution... she refuses. with an attitude that shows just how sorry.. or rather, NOT sorry.. she is about it. ugh.