My Wife wants out..still!!

[Just_Me]

Also, why does she get to have a "free pass" and can take my kids away, rush for a D and start up with OM???

Because you don't own her and never did.

why do I not have the right to be angry??

You do, but it won't serve any useful purpose. If your goal is reconciliation, then angrily proclaiming how unfair it all is will not serve any useful function.

The LBS has to do nothing to make the WAS upset while they break apart a family!! God forbid that we dare bring up the M/R for fear of pushing them away!!

You can bring up that stuff, but again, throwing out holier than thou statements and looking down your nose because she chose to quit doesn't really do much to save your marriage. The family is broke apart. Does being angry about it help it to mend?

You are being asked to look at your goals. If you want a pound of your wife's flesh for her decisions, then continue on your present course and you'll fulfill your goal (kind of, although never satisfactorily because what you think doesn't matter that much to her). If you want her to consider trying again with you, an attitude adjustment might be in order.

Now don't get me wrong. I NEVER advocated kissing her a$$. I don't think you should. But I think you need to focus on making a fulfilling life for you and your kids, drop the anger (for your own good...because being all bitter and angry doesn't help in your growth), and stop making this a power struggle. You have a free pass also....to be a strong, happy, complete man that has his act together. To be someone that she'd be nuts to leave for some loser that would take up with a married woman. Having this process be bitter just leads to bitter divorced people.