There and Back, #10

[SallyM]

hey all,

first, omg, was crucial conversations written for me. why why why didn't I read this months ago when my friend suggested it? I think she suggested it last winter even, prior to me even finding out about the affair. omg. soooo good. and I can see how it can be applied to so many areas of life. but since my R is where my crucial conversations mostly occur, well, that's where i am applying it.

its one of those books where I feel like I'm going to come out the other end better in many areas of my life.

atgo, really, an excellent choice. if you get it, let me know if you like it as well.

mark, thanks for the concern, I appreciate it. last week wasn't pretty, was it? I knew it wouldn't be, and this weeks fun thrown on top of it is pretty tough, but I will be okay. I know I will be. just a hard row to hoe for a bit. wish life had a ff or rw button sometimes. you made me stop and think last week, btw, when you told me I was being passive/a victim to this. my friend told me the same thing months ago and I hadn't realized how far I had slipped back into that role until you pointed it out. honestly I probably have never completely left it, but I had made some progress for a while...going to start that up again. feeling stronger.

dom and neph, opposing views. hmmm. my therapist votes for no, btw. basically no conversation about it at all. I certainly can say that I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with someone else at this time, but I don't have to admit or deny what I've been up to. will play that one by ear. hey, why does he get to see all of my cards and show me none of his?

have been outside playing with the kids and reading my book. am inside now trying to warm up...wow, is it cold out. or maybe just me trying to adjust to seasonal temps.

I really think this book is going to help me prepare for saturday, so I'm going to keep up with it until then. again, it won't help me stop a train, but will help me stop from getting slammed by it.

funny, I'm still wondering what the conversation will be. if its not straight out divorce, then its going to be about him getting set up in his own place. I can see the $$$ now...not just for the place, but for all that goes into it..furniture, dishes, pots/pans, sheets, etc, etc. wonder if I can use it as an opportunity to get myself new dishes and he can have the old ones from when we were married? hmmm...wonder if ow will like eating off of them? lol.

regardless, going to try to remember to take the time I need to process whatever his agenda is. no kneejerk reactions.