"But chicki, my experience in my sitch is that all those months I was saving the M while she refused to work on it amounted to (1) pursuit/pressure and (2) tension between us. I believe the pursuit/pressure and tension blocked any hope of reconciliation. By finally letting go, and telling her I agree and don;t want to work on the M, etc., the tension seems to have finally dissipated. Does that mean she will come back? No, but she could. And if she doesn't, it probably means we have the best chance to heal and salavage whatever we can of a R (friends? co-parents?). So I don't want to take a stand for M anymore because that equaled battling my spouse. We all have to let go, I believe."


Hi Nomo, it's been a long time! This is so true! This is so much how my sitch played out. I saw the same hints that you are seeing, but blew them off because I had read into them before and was wrong. (I thought). My H would give me signs and I would think, maybe and would act and it was not what he wanted. (He now says he did but was so screwed up and scare he wouldn't let it go anywhere.) Go on living your life and if she does want to come back it will be up to you!
I so have to say my M now has NEVER been as good as it is now. We both have learned so much and I am so greatful that this terribly painful experience happened!

The part where your friend said the OLD Nomo is back. I get it, however it is hard to balance both. I have to remind my self to not forget ME and MY friends! It's not always about family.

Good luck to you and what ever happens. I feel you are in a better place mentally and good will come whatever the path.
Take care,

S




Last edited by NotAgainPlease; 10/25/07 07:17 PM.
M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.