no contact......how do you survive.....

[yawmom]

I always seem to blow it when I'm depressed and not enough sleep. I wake up over and over each night even with a sleep aid. So the following day I'm drained and even more depressed.

He had promised me money for 3 weeks, and none. I had to call and let him know--he was at OW's -I could hear kids in the back ground...hit me hard and wrong. I asked how he likes playing daddy to a strangers kids when he's got his own that he doens't contact...that hit a nerve!
He again promised he'd get it to me...he did. Said he'd send more, and I think you're right -- I'll forward bills to OW's.

I do have a budget -- I've always taken care of the bills, he just gave me the cash. But when you only get a couple bucks here and there then you fall behind. I'll transfer his address -- adn I know he wont' like it..oh well.

Told me a few conversations ago that he still loved me, he remembers the good times...so is that hopeful news or cuz he bounces back and forth is he playing me?
I'm going as dark as I can other than the bills, like you said.