A very nice thing is that I've met someone who I think has the potential to be very special to me. It's still too early to tell - we work together and have talked a lot, but are only going on our first date next week. He has kids too, so our schedules are a bit hectic.
What's funny is that I find it strange being with him b/c he treats me so differently than H ever did. He actually asks me questions about myself and LISTENS TO ME(!); he openly tells me about himself; he doesn't make himself sound perfect; he looks me in the eye when we're talking; his R with his son is very important to him. All in all, he's a really nice guy (I think). Plus, he's hot, lol!
I had issues with being guarded around men, and in particular around this guy b/c I am actually seriously interested in him. I asked myself how do I get past my fear of being betrayed again, of trusting again? Finally, it came down to making a decision to trust. I am taking it slowly and getting to know him, but I really do believe that not all men are like my stbx (thank goodness!).
I gave XH 16 years of my life, and that's enough - more than enough. He doesn't get anymore. If I let the "hangover" from my M affect me for the rest of my life, I'm giving my life away, and I won't do that.
Anyway, so far things are in the very early stages here, but I am hopeful. Either way, it is good to know that I COULD love again, that I could trust again, that I have not turned into some cynical man-hater - which would not be a surprise, lol!
I am in mid-terms now, so have tons of marking, and that is keeping me busy.
Also, I don't like posting b/c I just want to move on from all this. I don't feel like I have much to offer others b/c I just don't have the patience for the MLCBS that I used to, and I don't feel that I can be supportive of the M. I'm also very vulnerable to other people's pain, so it's not good for me to be here.
That said, I am sending my love to all of you, and wishing you well.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I am so happy that you have found yourself again. You are a wonderful and amazing strong person and I can honestly say that because I met you in person.
Enjoy your first date with your friend. Your STBXH will simply die when he realizes that you have truly moved on without him but it doesn't matter anymore. You are focusing on YOU and that is all that matters.
Much love to you, ISLH
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
"What's funny is that I find it strange being with him b/c he treats me so differently than H ever did. He actually asks me questions about myself and LISTENS TO ME(!); he openly tells me about himself; he doesn't make himself sound perfect; he looks me in the eye when we're talking; his R with his son is very important to him. All in all, he's a really nice guy (I think). Plus, he's hot, lol!"
YAY!!! I couldn't be happier, Nic! Just have a good time. You deserve it!
Thanks for your kind and supportive thoughts everyone!
Well, my date is cancelled.
Due to a "complicated situation" with HIS ex, which makes the timing not good...(for now).
Stupid Xs.
Anyway, we are going to continue being friends and hopefully, the timing will get better (at least, that's my hope!). He said that he really wanted to go w/ me, but he just can't think about a R right now (no, I had not said anything about a R - I'm not crazy!).
The good side of this is that I know he's not a jerk who would lead me on, and also that he's not just after sex. The bad side, of course, is that I don't want to be "just friends"!!
If DB has taught me anything, though, it's the P-word (PATIENCE!).
sigh...
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
