I have been separated over a year at this point, with 10 months being on active duty and the last 3 in Iraq. It has given me some time to really reflect on stuff. It's only when we can let go of the fear of a D. can we we then deal with whatever happens. When I first came on thios board in Ocotber of 2006, I had been separated for a month, and got some great advice from runningoutoftime, who eventually reconciled with her H. She was on the verge of suicide when he first moved out, but pulled herself together, and finally came to the realization that she would be alright, either way. Her advice was "take care of you" and DETACH. Treat your spouse as a good friend, which you've done, but move on in your own mind. This doesn't mean you close the dorr,it just menas that you set yourself up to accept it either way. It took me over a year and a trip to Iraq (at my own hand) to get remotely close to that point. I believe I may be nearer to it with each day. I know it's tough on you, because you're near it every day. I work with a woman who was separated from her husband for two years. she filed for divorce, but in the end, she said, she could not "pull the trigger". She had a rveleation about marriage, and thought what a good example it would be for her kids to see her work it out. I wish they all ended that way, but you know what? Some do...Hnag in there my friend, Lose the fear, and continue to do the good work of working on you. It's harder said than done.
