impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

Ya know... if I were a different person.. who didnt give a damn about what is good for my children, and didnt give a damn about the sanctity of marriage... yeah. I'd be out of here. A long time ago.
I've looked around, and I know that there are a LOT of women, who DO care about honesty, marriage, and would be a whole lot easier to have a positive, enjoyable relationship with.

But.. I do care about those things.
Any one of those things, would in theory be enough to make me keep trying.

I know that my children, need a positive model for what commitment to marriage is like, from their parents. Or they will never have a good marriage themselves.
[and not to mention that they also need BOTH their parents, with them every day! Right now, never mind the future!]

I know that God wants married people, to do everything they can to both stay married, AND try to make their spouse happy and taken care of. Even, sadly, when betrayed by them.

But, lastly... she can be a good person to be with, when she chooses to be. If you are someone that she "favours", then she can be very nice to you indeed. She can be a very loyal person. Trouble is, I'm not on her loyalty list.

She hasn't been committed to our marriage for 6 years. but even then, there have been some positive bright spots for us together.
Heck, even through the separation, there have been a few times, when we've had some really nice days together. I think even she enjoyed it, even if she wont admit it much. [hmm.. she actually DID say, once or twice, that she "had a nice time". ]

I believe that if she chose to be committed to our marriage again, and work on OUR relationship first, before her job, or her family (ie: "do what married people are supposed to do"), then I could enjoy every day with her.
She's not a very "happy" person inside. So I cant say that she would enjoy every day with me . But I think that she would at least be satisfied with the way I treated her


If she treated me in the same way that she has been for the last 4 years (having EAs, putting me last in everything...) then I probably couldnt take it. But if she treated me better, then I would be more capable of treating her better. Basically, to continue to treat her in the way I treat her now. Which, I think she would agree, is far better than I used to.

I told her once, "what if the only thing standing in the way of us having a good marriage, was for you to give up playing stuff online?" She expressed her doubt. Pulled the control card: "you'd just find some other way to control me". [Hmm.. a husband wanting his wife to stop cheating on him by dating other people online, is "controlling"... oops... "my bad"?]

but basically, I think that's the main thing in the way.
With all the time she spends online, then and now... if she chose to substitute positive time spent together instead.... I think we would have a great relationship, that would make both of us happy.