I would be totally honest with him. Like mk said, go in balls to the wall and brutal honesty. Not what he WANTS to hear, what you want to say to him. You have already owned up to your part of the mess, no need to apologize for that part again. If you do tell him you aren't dating, I would follow it with, "I have no interest in anyone, I wouldn't be working so hard on us if I did." or something along those lines. I think you H is seriously worried (like mine has said) that one of these days you are going to be like "F this, I'm doin' it"..meaning dating, sex, whatever. H has said to me that he is scared he is taking too long to decide, and that I won't be here when he gets back. He should be scared.
And yes, the kids-guilt angle never works here, I learned that WAY early on. They have to see that for themselves.
