Home for a month in December and then home for good in May.
He will be going back to work at the same "shop" which is where OW/EA still is, however, she started dating someone else once H left and has since married the guy. Plus I could care less about her. A skank in my book. If he ever decided to go that way again, which I don't think he would, he can have her or whoever he decides . . . it doesn't get any better than this redhead
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Got to see my honey on webcam this a.m. He also got to see S 20 mnths. A lot of times he's already in bed by the time we do the webcam, but we did it early this a.m. and of course S was already up (got up at 4 a.m.) S20 mnths is getting so big, starting to talk, etc.
I'm feeling pretty good about my M right now. I know I'm doing what I should be doing and that's about all I can do right now. Just being thankful every day for what I have makes a big difference in attitude and how you deal w/ things.
Still hurting quite a bit. I ended up w/ a lump under one of my incisions and about FREAKED. I called doc & they said it was normal healing process stuff. It just seems to hurt though, but I'll just wait & watch it.
Need to go back to bed for a bit now.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I almost started an email to H, well actually I did start an email & saved it as draft, but I don't know that I want or need to share this w/ him right now.
I think about him coming home and at times I'M AFRAID. I decided to start posting things that I'm afraid of maybe just to get it out, think about it and get some input on it.
1. I'm afraid that I will always feel like I am having to prove to you that I'm good enough to be your wife.
2. I'm afraid that every day, little irritating things will seem larger and that you will decide to leave again.
Those are the 2 that came to mind as I was trying to get some rest this p.m. Anyway, I'm needing to get things off my chest these days and don't necessary want to talk to H about it all the time.
Actually, I don't bring up the D sitch very much at all really. I just go on as if . . .
Sometimes I have questions, like tonight he mentioned another "girl" that he worked w/ here. Not the OW/EA, but I've always wondered if there was something w/ this other girl too. I decided not to ask. I guess I don't know if I even need to know. I honestly have gotten to the point of "you got it good, man, and if you decide it's not good enough, so be it." I'm not being cocky to the point of arrogant or starting to treat him badly, but I need that self-worth, self-esteem, etc. that tells me that, w/ the changes I've made and am willing to implement in our M once he gets back, if it isn't good enough or I'm not good enough, there really never was or is anything I could do that would make it good enough (did that even make sense?)
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I had a vision last night when working with my son on his home work. I know we have all heard this before and it is hard work but everything is hard work until it becomes second nature. I was showing him something for his home work on the computer and he shouted out the infamous "OK I KNOW". now in the past when he came out with this and his voice raises up a few levels I inurn would raise mine a few higher and come back with something like "If you know why ask Me to help" kind of shouting back at him. But for some reason last night when this happened I did not raise my voice. Instead I told him “Anthony when you answer me back I feel like not helping you. I inurn want to shout back at you. We get nowhere. Wow the light came on in my head. Why can't I express this "I feel XXXX" to my Wife. My point is Red that I think you should write these "fears" down. Don't e-mail them but keep a running list. After your H has returned and the Dust has settled them you need to get these fears out in the open and let him know. That way him knows what you may be thinking when he talks about this OW (not THE OW) but he may mean NOTHING by bringing her up but he is aware how you feel and not bring it up. Like some friends had to put their dog "to sleep". (Long story) they had no kids so this dog was like their child. But the dog snapped at someone and to make a long story short they had to put "Max" down. I knew they had a hard time with this. It took awhile for me to bring it up but I had to let them know my sorrow for what they had to do. (Very uncomfortable). But I did and after tears were shed the subject was put to rest. Now I know never to bring up their dog again because I know how they feel. Well we need to let our spouses know how we feel so they know how uncomfortable we are when certain things come up.
Sorry I kind of got carried away but do you know what I am trying to say??
Poor sues. She did not bring up the fact that she wanted to go to the concert with her H. He did not bring up wanting to take her because he thought she would not want to go anywhere with "HIM". So NOBODY BROUGHT IT UP.
Sooooo to boil all of this down. Wait until your H is home. Don't bring it up now because then you are setting up the foundation of it not working out before it has a chance. After he is home and he makes sure your pilot light is lit then start a new chapter in your marriage.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I agree, that's why I didn't email him. Also, we've talked about before deciding what's really important and what isn't to actually bring up & talk to H about. By the time he comes home and after he is home, these fears may not even be real to me anymore. I just need to get them out here and go from there.
I know we will have *challenges* when he gets home, but I'm actually hopeful that it truly won't be as hard as I think it may be. I'm hopeful that we will just be happy to be back together, have our family together and that when those challenges may come along, we will learn or have learned how to deal w/ them in a healthy manner. I truly hope that he has learned he needs to communicate how he is feeling about things to me so that we can work together on issues that come up.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Remember I am always here, E-mail me anytime to vent. Sometimes you need to let that little voice in your head out. And once it is out you realize how much nonsense it was trying to get ya to believe. It's better to get it out here than to voice this non sense to our spouse and let them know how crazy we really are...
manuel
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Hi RDH, Yay, I made it over here from SSM land...no small feat, as I am bad with directions!
I only read the last few posts, and I agree not to email the fears. Just know that you will be anticipating anticpatory anxiety as the day for his return approaches. it's only natural.
Hope you are feeling better from the procedure. I really do think it's outrageous that your doctor is concerned, at this point, about pain reliever addiction. You know, they can be book smart but common sense dumb sometimes.
