Hi heartbroken!! Thank you so much. In the past, I just wanted H back. Just back. But now I know 1) I don't want him this way. and 2) He has to be fully 'back'. And yes, the timing might be off when/if he actually wants to come back. Scary.
hope, wow, we could sit down and talk all day and night about our similar situations. I am so sorry for you because I know it sucks. OW supposedly ended it in September when her H said "No contact". She called my H and ended it, but really, what do we actually know. H continued to call, call, call. They had a cute thing with one ring, meaning "I'm thinking of you". Barf. So, even though she didn't answer (did she?), she probably loved to be pursued. They have said "I love you" to each other and now I realize how attached H is to her to this day. I know in my heart she still wants him, and they are probably talking/seeing each other again. The other night I said "Look at me, my husband is in love with another woman" and he didn't deny it. Ouch.
I am sure you feel like I do, second choice, a runner up. A 'back up' when things turn out poorly. I feel like a consolation prize that comes with the kids, a package deal. I know from talking to OW's H, (and you may feel this too), he was terrified (and angry) about possibly seeing his kids less, and supporting his wife because she messed up. I think its even harder on the male LBS.
