Lets try thing again!!!!

[Heartbroken]

Limbo--

I am so so sorry you are going through another bad blow. Please do not take their soul mate talk so seriously - this is textbook material from the "How to have an A book 101..." My H's ow said the same thing she felt he was her soul mate blah blah blah. I just about tossed my cookies upon hearing this and was so enraged that I clearly said to my H that in NO uncertain circumstances that "real soul mates" just do not happen they are not "out there" waiting to hook up. I feel soul mates are made from that commitment to each other, from having children together or building a home together, surviving job losses and successes TOGETHER, from surviving health issue together and/or family losses together. You cannot be true soul mates unless you are together and a romp in the hay a few times over a period of 6 -12 mos hardly constitutes a real relationship. They are in a bubble, fantasy la la land where they do not deal with reality so how could they really even consider themselves soul mates.

You and I are so much the same. I OFTEN wonder why I continue to be hurt and how could I love my H so much still after all this. I do keep trying (as tired as I am right now) b/c 1) my kids and how much they need us together and 2) I truly believe we had a wonderful M and somehow it got way off track but maybe we can be even better b/c of the A.

I keep the faith I have had all along and though I sometimes let fear and sadness get in the way of my goals and drag me back a little I still pick myself up and plug along. My H has always said to me that anything worth having takes work, it takes effort. If this were easy everyone would be doing it. D is the easy way out (initially) but after a D the WAS is still unhappy (b/c we all know it's a problem within) and no longer has the LBS to be the fall guy.

I hope I have not rambled too much you have come so far to give up now!! Maybe you and your hubby could see a Retro couple together. He needs to truly stop the lies in order for any healing to begin...

You are my inspiration - I know you can do this!!

HB