I felt somewhat guilty for wanting out of my marriage because I "knew" that my 2bx suffered from depression/anxiety disorders. I didn't feel free to be angry with him for not paying child support etc. because I was actually worried on one level that he might commit suicide.

See this is the difference. It was actually all of your XH's other horrible traits that you wanted to get away from but the depression is what made you excuse some of behaviors and feel sorry for him. My friend's XH was the opposite. He liked and loved a lot about her but just couldn't stand when she wasn't more energetic. it truly was the depression symptoms that he hated and believed that she could just shake them if she really wanted to.

Mojo, I agree with GP that you were incredibly strong to stay in the marriage as long as you did and especially to stay and still not lose yourself. You took an accidental pregnancy and built the best family you could for your kids. You were responsible for that and should be proud of that fact. Like I've said before, the fact that your kids seem to have little reaction to your marriage ending speaks VOLUMES about how they feel toward their father. My SIL's father left her mom a few years ago and when he told her that he was marrying the OW she said "Dad, what do you expect me to say? I wish you were still with mom." I have to say I cannot imagine your kids feeling anything like that.

I know other have had concerns about GP but I really like him. He is truly a MAN. Maybe he's not the man you'll fall in love with and maybe he's not "perfect" (whatever that means) but what a great example of how a grown-up man acts. He has opinions, he talks openly and honestly to you, he knows how to pick a woman he LIKES, etc.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus