I need support

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I am so glad to see some good advice on here and not lecturing and forcefulness like I had been getting. I would go on here and be afraid and cry. I was in this forum. I have been on the whole site since 05 when he left the first time. When I first started I was mocked for my name choice-Ed'swife. Someone didn't like it and I was told about it. So here I am now.

We were engaged at the prom FYI. Ah, memories. Thought it was a fairy tale. Everything since then however has been a fight to get to fruition. Nothing came easy. But in my mind it was all worth it. I am just so sad it came to this. I would do anything to keep my marriage intact for myself and for my kids. They are innocent bystanders. My son tells me he is "being fair" and trying to split his time between parents. 2 days here, 2 days there. And that he is "trying" to get us back together. If he is I haven't seen it. Except him consolling me when I am upset and crying. I have been quite a wreck I am afraid to say.
My group was good last night. However, they too want to see me out of the gloom and back on my feet. I am just not there yet. I need time. I am however detaching.