Dropping the line vs. differentiation

[MJontheMend]

Maybe the key to finally putting an end to my marital fusion would be to admit to the extent to which I really was a gangstah ending my pathetic marriage with a bullet to the head. Realistically, I KNEW that there was no way my 2bx would agree to the demands or requests I made "or else" the marriage was over. So, I'm the one who finally ended it and my reasons were pretty darn selfish. As far as I could see the man was a complete liability as a marital partner for the remainder of my life. For instance, if I thought of a basic post-kid-relationship-lifestyle fantasy such as saving up money to go to Italy and hike about touring with excitement, sit in cafes and have pleasant conversations and go back to hotel and f*ck like crazy, every single step of achieving this goal would be fraught with difficulty if my H was the partner with whom I wished to achieve it. His tendency towards quitting jobs would make it difficult to save the money. His tendency towards anxiety would make it difficult to get him on a plane to Europe and his behavior on the plane would be most unpleasant. His depression/anxiety would cause him to complain all the time about any difficulty while touring such as lines, unfamiliar facilities, weather etc. etc. and, frankly, I would be embarrassed to be in the company of such a whiner. Of course, it goes without saying that he would just collapse when we got back to the hotel room and the likelihood of hot vacation sex would be sub-minimal.

So, given the well-documented fact, that women naturally semi-consciously "shop" for lifestyle (looks #2)when choosing men, it is clear why I would be "happier" with someone like GP than my 2bx. He gets bonus points for speaking semi-fluent Italian. Actually, GP would be a great asset as a vacation companion because he is naturally slow-moving and happy and I am naturally fast-moving and happy. We would be at the cafe and I would be babbling about what we might do in the afternoon and he would just look at me and smile and say "Are you enjoying your coffee?"