I have time tonight to do a little update and this is actually a pretty good update.
Anyone who has followed my sitch will remember I was dealing with a very mean and selfish MLC/WAW who abandon her children. I did my very best to follow the DB principals with a backslide or two but in the last 6 months I nailed DB, no backslides to speak of, I did GAL and I did drop the rope. It was at the 6 month where I lost all respect for her and realized that I really wasn't man enough to reconcile if it ever came to that, there simply was too much damage done in the 6 months of separation. I woke up one morning and gave up, I threw in the towel on the M and felt a weight lift from myself, I GAL and left her to her own devices.
In the last 6 months I've really turned myself off. She calls the kids nightly and I simply give the phone to them, I have nothing to say to her so why bother talking on the phone. She comes to see the kids 3 days a week now and is spending a lot more hours with them when she sees them. She is working on reconnecting with her parents and other relatives and friends as well. She looks absolutely miserable and hasn't smiled in a very very long time. She has been teary and has a hard time leaving when she has to go home. She is flat ass broke and pregnant, beginning to realize what has happened in the last year.
This last week or so has been very telling of where she is in this MLC. She has been trying extremely hard to spend time ALONE with me (ummm I am not comfortable with that at all so I will not allow it) She has been doing a lot of checking up on me and has asked me on a few occasions to stay home when she visits. (I have made it a habit to leave when she arrives and to return upon her leaving) She is very chatty when she is around me asking lots of questions etc.
Today was downright frightening. I was putting the finishing touches on a Jeep restoration in my garage when I heard the door open. Expecting someone else I turned around with a very big smile, the smile was wiped from my face when I saw it was STBXW. She came under the guise of paying the CS for 2 months ago (WTF she never pays until the last day of the month) she tried to engage me in a conversation but I had nothing to say, she commented several times on how nice the Jeep had turned out and that I had done a fantastic job before she left.
I think there are two reasons for what is happening at this point.
1. Her pregnancy (minor)
2. Drop the rope, cut her loose and let her live her life as she chooses.
I am doing well, hell I am better than that. I tend to look at it like this, I have a second chance, I get to live the rest of my life a better person and with the value of some very important lessons learned. My kids are well and adjusting to things better than anyone expected ( I credit this to a lot of extended family support and early IC ) It isn't always easy being a single parent but I do my best and it shows.
I really wanted to provide this update for the men on the board, there are so few of us and success stories are few, I want to give the men both new and old a little look at what can happen given time.
I also wanted to thank everyone who has taken the time to post or mail me your advice was invaluable in helping me heal.
