OK...by the way, the withdrawal from OM is normal. Let her grieve.
Her seeming lack of remorse will also kill you...it can take 1-9 months for remorse to kick in. Don't impose the guilt on her, because she'll reject even her own natural guilt as your "judgement". Let her process it herself.
Patience man.
And while you wait -- start having some fun in your life.
When she exits the la-la land of make believe and fog of the affair lifts: what will she see in you? This is the crucial question. Many people blow their chance to make a smooth path for their spouses return.
