Remember, the affair is a distraction/band-aid. Once it's over, she still has to live with herself -- and she's a mess. Often it takes months to get over it and eventually lift from the fog.
But -- once the affair is over, she's able to see YOU more clearly.
When she wakes up, what' she gonna see MCC? A desperate, wounded, bitter, angry man who seems to be drowning?
Detach and become the man you always wanted to be.
Remember detaching from her is for your sanity so that you can focus on your wonderful life and find yourself. Detachment doesn't mean you don't care for her or love her. It simply allows you to unhook yourself from the drama, stop reacting to her crazymaking, and gives you the chance to develop/grow/change. And it gives her the chance to breathe and the opportunity to see you blossom and grow.
By the way -- many women still think and say they want a divorce after they break it off with OM. Be the rock. There's an old saying in DB, "Don't belive anything they say and only half of what they do."
Look up the thread of Frank_D. When his wife gave up the OM, she was still gung-ho on divorce. Frank just rose the task of become the man he needed to be. That man eventually began to send signals that he was moving on, and his wife eventually realized that she was losing a great guy.
