Hang in there; I'm sorry to see you in this situation, but this is a ride you nor any of us signed up for. You've been getting good advice so far; follow it and you will see improvement. It will take a while, but I've been on this road five months now and I'm a lot better off than two months into it.
Read all you can; focus on yourself. What can you do to grow as a person during this time? It's really true--we are responsible for our own happiness. Volunteer. Get a new hobby. Try new things. Rekindle old friendships. Meet new friends. I've learned so much about myself, love, and relationships through all the pain. Maybe W and I will have a new, better marriage. Maybe not. But I do know one thing: I'm a better person for whomever I am with next, be it W or a new wife. You must make changes for yourself, not for your H or anyone else.
Don't try to read too much into actions or words. Oh, I know it's hard. It's real hard. But you will drive yourself crazy trying to determine what his feelings and motives are. Detach, detach, detach. Be there if you want to be when he needs you, but live your life for yourself. You cannot depend upon him for now.
He controls a lot, I'm sad to say, but you control how long you are willing to stay on this ride. Don't let anyone here or anyone else tell you how long to ride. You must make that decision for yourself. I'm amazed at how long some people on this board have stood for their marriage. They are truly courageous people who have endured horrific pain. Some have gotten a new, better marriage. All have become better people.
