Well, I don't get it. Why would anybody that says they want to save their M even consider putting anyone else (especially OW) over their own W? Aren't you suppose to mean the most above all others to him? He won't give up his friends for you? Oh really? You are suppose to mean more to him than any person on earth.....even the children! This man is unbelievable! I had a gut feeling from the first that he had not been straight with you and I still think he is lying.....but then I don't know him...it is just a feeling. I'm sorry....I just get mad seeing how men lie to their W's (or the other way around) and just think they should be able to accept it and have cake and eat it too.
Don't you dare apoligize or take the blame for the fault here. You are the one that has done nothing wrong. Sure he pretends ignorance (or something) and says he's done nothing wrong...b/c he want to keep doing it!!!
Your mother was wrong yelling at you. She was probably upset b/c of the children, but she should not have taken it out on you. She probably doesn't know everything that has happen.......does she? Maybe you should discuss it with her. Surely she would not expect her D to put up with that from a H.
I live in a small town and people here just don't have friends that does not include the spouse. In every case I have ever known of personally....it ends in an EA or PA--or a D from jealousy (which was justified). M was not designed to have friends of the opposite sex. We are to cleave to our spouse and forsake all others. I've heard that vow in the M cermony means in sexual terms, but if we have friends of the opposite sex and are having dinner alone with them, etc....it will lead to having sex with them. It is a disaster waiting to happen. There may be very, very few exceptions to the rule.......very few. I can't think of any right now. I would be furious if I even thought my H was talking with another woman, much less having dinner with her. Honey, if he is wanting a private email account with this OW.....you have got to know in your heart that it means "no good".
Don't let him walk on you and don't let him make you feel that it is all your fault and you just don't trust him.....or any other games and lies he tries to pull. He may be wanting admiration or whatever from OW....but it doesn't make it right.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
