Hey saffie, thanks for asking about me. Ironically, I am ok tonight. I got knocked down but I am back. Its not about me...its not my mess....
morgan, thanks girl. You have mail.
jak, thanks for the book offer. I wasn't going to read it, but if you think it would still help my situation I will. I am going to buy it tomorrow though.
yoyo, thanks for the support. It does cut to the core, but really, I can't control it, so I am trying to rise about it.
trying:
Quote:
I guess I am going to go against the grain. Because if I was being made a fool of I would hope so bad that the other person would call me. I really would. Here the poor guy is at home thinking his wife is trying when she is out fooling around.
Yes!!! I am glad someone agrees with me. I totally understand everyone opinions, where they are coming from. But if I was the one in the dark (and have been this entire time), I would have loved someone to turn the light on for me. Especially now, when OW's H is under the illusion they are working it out. How devastating. Still don't know what to do. Wish he would call me.
Journaling:
Went out for a bit, got my hair highlighted. It was relaxing. Then went running and came home. We were polite to each other, and I spent time with D3. On my way out the door, H was STILL ordering our phones but when he realized that with the family plan, he can't get separate bills (doof), he said "Well I want separate bills". I told him I would order my own phone then. I am not going to beg him to be on my cell phone plan, puleeeeze.....
oh, and yeah, the separate bill thing...new that was too weird that he wanted you guys on the same plan. order your own phone. get an iphone. f-him if he tries to hold it against you later.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
as for ow's h, I am not saying not to tell him. at this point, honestly, there have been a few incidents, I probably would. I'm just saying the 48 hour rule is a good one.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
how stupid does he think you are?? He should be feeling ashamed right about now for what he pulled today. Does he think this is acceptable behavior from a married man???
Yes I understand the 48 hour rule, but because of the few incidents, I would want to know, and would actually appreciate it if the H called me to let me know. I think you should
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
how stupid does he think you are?? He should be feeling ashamed right about now for what he pulled today. Does he think this is acceptable behavior from a married man???
I don't know how to read his face when I came and sat down next to him in the library. Shocked at first, but then, I don't know. Its really pathetic, I am almost embarrassed for him, his actions. I feel bad he is so low, so lost. Only so much I can do, he doesn't want my help.
Hi, lwb. Wow. What a day. I would not have had your grace.
I think you have an agreement with OW's H. You would want him to do the same for you. The note was one thing. Now you have another. I would call. Waiting 48 hours will let them squirm and give you an opportunity to figure out how you want to handle this.
The only reason not to tell her H is if you don't want to deal with the blow up that is bound to occur. However, her H is bound to find out eventually. Then what?
If OW's H leaves her, she will come at your H full force. She is well aware of her H's stand. She and your H are not trying very hard to hide things. It is very possible she is ready to leave her M. Tread carefully.
You have done everything right. The tough love approach may be a final tactic in your sitch. The A will have to run its course. They will fully have to deal with the reality of their choices. They will have to be responsible for each others needs.
48+ hours to consider what is best for YOU. You hold the cards here, my dear, even if it doesn't seem like it.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
If OW's H leaves her, she will come at your H full force. She is well aware of her H's stand. She and your H are not trying very hard to hide things. It is very possible she is ready to leave her M. Tread carefully.
Oh yes, I am thinking of this angle, but really, can I stop it? Even if he 'came back' to me right now, it wouldn't be for the right reasons.
Oh well, he is very messy, his messes are messy, and I like it neat. I have to put him aside for now, let him do what he will.
If OW's H leaves her, she will come at your H full force.
Am I the only one here who's thinking that I want to go at LWB's H full force? Man! He needs a 2x4, or three!
Lwb, your H is a complete fool. The poise and grace you display are astounding! You're a great mom, a faithful, loving wife, and a beautiful, moral human being -- you're so far above him it is not even funny. He needs his head examined.
It was relaxing. Then went running and came home. We were polite to each other, and I spent time with D3. On my way out the door, H was STILL ordering our phones but when he realized that with the family plan, he can't get separate bills (doof), he said "Well I want separate bills". I told him I would order my own phone then. I am not going to beg him to be on my cell phone plan, puleeeeze.....